Taking the high road...

... is not always easy. I am at a place of peacefulness in knowing that I tried everything to save my marriage, and I upheld the vows I made. However, the peace that comes with knowing that in time, God will provide something wonderful because I trust in Him, is not there with everything. I am still very, very angry. Most of my recent days I have been too angry to even look him in the face. How can someone I love (loved?) so much be ready, willing and able to cause so much harm? I don't think any of it has been intentional... I just feel that he is simply in a place in which he cannot think of anyone but himself.

So... even though I know I will be fine, and I know God is in control, I just can't help but wonder how to get past the anger part. How do I stop thinking vindictive thoughts? Even if I would never act on them, I want to be in a place where I don't even think about causing him/HER hurt. Prayer, I know. But is that all? Do I just keep waiting for prayer to work? It's a constant battle...

It's my choice. It's my choice to be positive. It's my choice to find the good things. It's my job to take the bad and find good. I want to, too. It's just not always easy. Taking the high road is not always easy. But Jesus did and he would still today. He's in my heart telling me what to do... I just feel like a 2 yr old wanting to disobey.

My little man was baptized on Sunday. We made a public profession of faith and promised to teach him about Christ. What an aweome day it was!! Pictures will be up later of the special day...