"Mam, I pulled you over for speeding. Is there a reason you were going so fast?"
Ummm... YEAH. I'm in a H-U-R-R-Y.
I'm ALWAYS in a hurry. Aren't you? (But this time, I was actually going slower than I usually do...) I was trying to keep up with someone, but they were going faster than I was... and the group of cars in which they were traveling was going faster as well. Somehow... someway... with about 6 cars in front of me traveling at a speed greater than 70 miles an hour in a 55 mph zone... that State Trooper decided that I was the one he would stop. (and this just HAPPENED to fall on the same day in which my insurance agent informed me that I would have 2 points drop off of my license in a couple of months... for speeding.......)
It really doesn't matter that the cars in front of me were going faster than me. It really doesn't matter that the cop could have and should have stopped someone else. The fact is... I was still going too fast. 70 in a 55. Yeah yeah. Blech.
The very next day, my daily devotion was on "speeding through life." God doesn't really want us to just speed through life, missing out on his beauty and gifts... but we do it anyway, filling every inch, every moment, with something. Something other than what He intended. SLOW DOWN. ENJOY YOUR LIFE. BE STILL. I thought about blogging about this topic that day, but just didn't have enough time. Ironic? Perhaps. But it really hadn't sunk in that day, or in hind-sight... at least as much as I think it needed to.
You see... when I got that ticket... my 3 kids and 2 others were with me. Since then, I have had constant comments from these non-licensed individuals regarding my speed at any particular moment. Normally, I would halt any discussion from my kids involving my driving, as what qualifies THEM to judge me?? The last few days, however, I have really needed that reminder to SLOW DOWN. My "lead foot" is something I have had since I began driving, and I suppose it has something to do with procrastinating, or filling in every spare inch of time with something, and constantly being "on the run." :) Regardless... I am actually having to learn to allow time in my drive each day to NOT speed. Weird? For ME, it is...
So here is where I am... today... when my speedometer hit 80... (i know...shhhh...), I PURPOSELY slowed down again... I took some time to FEEL what it feels like to go slower. You know what? It was uncomfortable. I didn't like it AT ALL and was rather annoyed that not only was I going to have to stick with this speed for awhile, but some people actually drive like this. I felt like a freaking turtle. Literally. I CAN'T DO THIS.
And then it hit me.
Maybe this is what God has been trying to tell me for some time now. "SLOW DOWN. But to do this... you are going to have to be uncomfortable for awhile. You can grow from this experience, but right now you aren't allowing any room for what this experience can do for you. You are going to have to feel the discomfort and start to understand yourself a little more in the process. WHY do you feel uncomfortable going so slowly? Facing reality can be excruciating... but I promise you that taking some time to FEEL it... and spending some time figuring out why it feels yucky... will be so beneficial for you in the long run."
So today, I drove a little slower. I didn't like it much. I did, however, take some time to admit to myself that while I don't like feeling like a turtle, there were a few things to gain from driving a little more slowly. More things to see... a more friendly atmosphere for those around me on the interstate... better gas mileage... and a safer driver to boot.
In real life, however, I can't help but wonder... and wait to see... what I have been missing. I will have to deal with some uncomfortable feelings in many areas... as I have been running at a top speed for some time now. Being busy is one thing, but flying through it all is another. My schedule will not change for quite some time... but the way in which I approach it certainly will.
In what way are you going too fast?